Pioneering Communication Between Moth And Human Results In Murder
I became aware of Banquo when he landed on my scrabble board and started flying (is it really flying? It looks more like airborne epilepsy) from letter to letter. At first I tried to kill him with my coffee mug, but it gradually dawned on me that he was trying to communicate.
His wild dance was spelling out the first words ever said by a moth to a human: "You've left your fridge open again." It was true. I had left my fridge open.
Over the next few nights we spent many hours discussing all manner of things, from global warming to the appropriateness of having strippers at a funeral. He also confirmed my suspicion that a rogue male sparrow had been stealing my cutlery.
However, I'm shamed to admit that by the end of the week my fascination had turned to dislike. He constantly mocked me for supporting the Leyton Orient, and his repeated misuse of possessive apostrophes filled me with simmering rage. Things came to a head over a disagreement about the merit of ID cards and in a fit of temper (instantly regretted) I squashed him with the September edition of What Hi-Fi magazine.
Thankfully I was able to wipe the magazine clean, but I have resolved never to play scrabble again.